Alexandra grew up in church from the time she was twelve years old but went her own way after she graduated high school. Bound for UC Davis to study political science and with dreams to work at the White House and write congressional bills, Alex’s life changed forever when she was introduced to meth. She never went back to school; she soon met her husband, and they did drugs together for many years.
Even while she was on meth, Alex could still “function”—she had her job, her car; CPS never took her kids, and even though her marriage had ended, she was confident that she didn’t have a problem. It was only when she started using fentanyl that her addiction took complete control of her life, and she lost everything.
Alex finally became homeless, but “was okay walking the streets of Visalia all night or getting high under the St. John’s bridge as long as I was on fentanyl—that’s all that mattered.”
Though she had family in town, her drug use shut off access to them. Alone and afraid, Alex says, “it was overwhelming to not see an end in sight.”
When she overdosed on fentanyl for the second time, Alex finally realized she had a problem, and she decided to seek help.
“I needed a place where I could allow myself to not only be safe but be comfortable to grow. I knew [how to work] those other programs; I could get high, lose everything, go back to program, and go back to my life. It was just a cycle. I knew [VRM] was faith-based, and I knew it was a year program which was the only thing that mattered to me because I needed severe help.”
VRM’s Life Change Recovery Program helped Alex by not only giving her tools for recovery but also giving her the opportunity to practice those tools in her work therapy, in class, and just by being around the area she used to get high. “I used to get high in the VRM parking lot and then eat dinner at the kitchen so that I could keep getting high until the next meal. This program doesn’t seclude me from my reality; it gets me grounded. I get to see everyday where I’d be if I’m not in program.”
Alex adds that, “recovery doesn’t seem shameful here. In the past, rehab was always about hiding away so that I could be okay to be in public again. It was never about finding what was wrong with me. My mind is in a different place and now I have hope that maybe I can be salt again on earth.”